there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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