I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
The adults are the big ones right?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
