Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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