no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Also, beer. Big fan.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
