At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
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