My liver just broke up with me...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
