Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
