So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
