people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
