Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
