is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize