I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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