the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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