It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
