Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
