no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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