My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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