I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
