And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize