The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
