I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
