Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
