do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
