i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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