hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
