Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
