hell yes lets make some ravioli
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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