check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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