I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
