EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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