brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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