I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
