Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
