He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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