She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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