You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
