Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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