There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
