put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
