A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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