There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
