i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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