She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
