need another drink. this is the easiest way
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
