I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
