those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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