I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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