Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
