Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
