she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
