sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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