Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
