I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
