Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just google imaged poop.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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