His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
