There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
