she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
