just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
