Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
