There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
