Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
