So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize