The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
