then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
