Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
