I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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