People with herpes should wear stickers.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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