mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
