So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
