You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize