Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
