She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
