I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i think im in europe. pls send help
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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